dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
