I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
