just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
