3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
