Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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