office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
