I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
