I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
