I wannas sexs uuuuu
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize