Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I came so hard my ears popped.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
