I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
