Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
