is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
