btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
