dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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