walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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