As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
