We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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