who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize
