Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
This show inspires me to have sex in space
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
