Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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