I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
