are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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