It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
