i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize