so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
