He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
