I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
