i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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