Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Randomize
