so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
