You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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