I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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