Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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