You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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