I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
