..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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