is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
birth control should be required to get into college
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
