I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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