I love black thongs
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
He has the fingertips of a God
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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