hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
