Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
