Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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