hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
