I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize
