at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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