You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
