It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
