He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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