i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
