when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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