I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize
