the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
