her vagine was all disorganized.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
