That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
