he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
