i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Oh god it's open bar.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
