So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I am one with the molecules
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize