Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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