fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
zippers are such a cool invention
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
